To: My Nephew, Randall Jude Holt

As I’m writing this entry, you’re about 25 hours old, and, oh, so cute.  I don’t think 7 pounds and 13 ounces has ever been more perfect.  

Hey, there, Handsome.

And, I know what you’re probably thinking:  What is this place and why am I here?  There are bright lights shining in your eyes, cold air pressing against your body, people talking all around you, beeping noises sounding every minute, and your body is no longer in its preferred and comfortable ball-like position. 

Well, baby Jude, I hate to break it to you, but this place, this is it.  This is home.  You’ve been snuggling, sleeping, growing, and relaxing the last ten months so that you could be fully ready to come spend time with all of us this side of utero.  Don’t panic, the transition and shock of your new surroundings may be a bit overwhelming, but I can promise you when I say this:  You are in the greatest of hands. 

No, seriously.  The absolute greatest.  Not sure?  Well, let me tell you about them.

First:  Your extended family.

This includes your great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, great aunts, etc… We’ve been counting down for your arrival since December.  We can’t wait to play with you, hold you, Face Time with you, buy you obnoxiously loud Christmas and birthday gifts, and watch you grow into an incredible young man.  We’ve prayed for you and our hearts are overflowing that you are here.  (We are the ones obsessively checking our phones and emails for a new picture.)

Aunt Paige has a great ring to it.  ;)

Second:  Your grandparents.  (I have decided they are their own entity and can’t be classified along with ‘extended family’.)

Jude, I am not kidding here.  When it comes to grandparents, you have the best in the business.  In my two years of parenthood, I have learned that the love of a grandparent isn’t just about a fun extension of the parents - It’s a multiplication of a parent’s love, and it can’t be matched.  They have weathered the worries and fears of parenting years ago, so their love is unwavering and deeply rooted. 

They will always root for you.  They will always be in your corner (even when it’s not the same corner as your parents).  They were the ones who paced around the hospital corridor, waiting for your arrival.  They were the ones with tears in their eyes at your announcement.  They were waiting to hear about their baby’s new baby.  That kind of love is an explosion of that all that is good in the world.  To them, you are the embodiment of hope, perfection, grace, and joy, and you didn’t really do anything besides exist.  That’s it.  You were born, and BOOM, their floodgates opened.  My only suggestion:  soak it up, Little One, soak it up.

Your Meme, Dad, and Sweet T waiting for your arrival.

R.J.H. x 2 

Third:  Your dad.  (My older brother)

Well, let me tell you something about him, and he’ll appreciate this honesty.  He’s had the best example of a father (hence your namesake), so I know he’s got this dad thing in the bag. 

Plus, just like you, he was the first-born son, so you two will share that experience, which I know means a lot to him.  You see, that’s thing about your dad – he recognizes the deeper meaning in all things.  He was the one who wept during the hospital tour, brings a toy for Molly each time he sees her, and sent money to me when I was poor college kid and over drafted my checking account for the third time.  He can see beyond the surface in each situation and prioritizes his life with that perspective.  The moment rarely passes him by.  His thoughtfulness and tender heart is the kind you read about in novels or see in the movies, but you’ll experience its reality daily. 

Erik becoming a father is one of the most natural and simple things I can imagine.  His love has always been one that exudes protection, pride, and value to the recipient.  I know this first hand, for I grew up under its covering as his little sister.  He gave me wisdom, advice, courage, and laughter.  He’s one of those guys who you would say was “made to be a dad.”  They say a father’s love can make or break his children, so all I can say is, Get Ready, Jude – your dad’s love is the kind that moves mountains. 

Could that smile be any bigger?

Fourth:  Your mom.

Yesterday, you were born at 1:46 p.m.  Family cheered in the waiting room.  Your dad announced your gender but only ONE person became your mother.  Only one person carried you, felt your every kick, watched each sonogram and heard every heartbeat for the past ten months.  And, yesterday she became a mother - not that she wasn’t one while you were in her womb, but yesterday the game irrevocably changed for her. 

Let me explain.  Yesterday, in your hospital room, the nurses walked in and started giving instructions.  They had directions on how to suck out your mouth with that suction thingy, there were code words to remember for your safety, and there were rules about where you could and couldn’t go in your little bassinet.  They rattled off all of these policies To. Your. Mom.  There were two grandmas, one aunt, and one dad in the room, but they still said it all to your mom.  She was the one who was lying on the bed exhausted because a small human was just extracted from her petite body, but the nurses still told her all of this because they knew.  They knew she was the mother. Because, just like she has the last ten months, she is the one who was made to carry you.  Sometimes the weight will be on her hip, in her arms, or on her back, but it will always be on her heart.  Don’t get me wrong – your dad will help in a thousand ways, love you unconditionally and be there all the time, but your mom will do all the things that won’t be pictured in your scrapbook or plastered on the walls. 

I know this because there is nothing that Becca does halfway.  I know it sounds like a simple characteristic, but as a mom, this trait will manifest beautifully.  She may crawl into her bed many nights exhausted and drained, but you will have been given all of her.  She is the kind of person who has a dream, a goal, a vision, and makes it happen.  And, not in one of those “let’s just get this done” kind of ways.  No, she’s methodical.  She processes it.  She covers all the ground and makes it happen.  She doesn’t just serve Blue Bell ice cream, she makes her own.  She doesn’t just give Christmas gifts, she wraps each present in matching wrapping paper.  She doesn’t just decorate your nursery, she broods, ponders, imagines you in it and each decorative item, and then it comes to life.  Everything she does is an expression of who she is and how well she loves.  When it comes to every milestone, each feeding, every bath time, she will be there - with all of herself – giving all of her heart. 

Your dad will go back to work next week.  The grandmas will eventually go home.  The company will die down.  And, then it will just be you and her.  You won’t remember this season of life at all, but it will be one branded into the very make up of who she has become – a mother.  No feeding, dirty diaper, minute slept, fingernail clipped, or coo made will be pass her.  She will watch you sleep for hours, make sure she can see you breathing, wake up at every noise while your daddy sleeps soundly next to her.  She’ll be tired and overwhelmed and emotional and sometimes wonder, “What has happened to my old life?”, but all of it will merge, clash, and combine in an outpouring of the sweetest and most fierce love of all – the love of a mother.   

If love was an expression, this would be it.

See, Jude.  You are set.  You have an extraordinary team of people who are ready to love you, spend time with you, cheer you on, and watch you grow.  By many standards, you are blessed beyond measure, but in reality, that is not because of the people listed above. 

You are loved, blessed, treasured, and cherished beyond your wildest dreams because of the One who knew you existed before all of these people.  They will change your diaper and feed you, but He knows the number of hairs on your head.  They’ll help you with your homework and teach you to drive, but He has ordained you to be on earth at this time because of the plans He has for you.  Your family will cry and rejoice at your wedding and hold your new baby one day, but your identity is not rooted in them or their love for you – it’s rooted in a God who conquered death so that you may have Life; it’s rooted in a Savior whose love is deeper than the oceans; it’s rooted in a Father who has called you to be his son. 

You are in good hands, Randall Jude Holt, because you are His. 

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever.  Amen.  –Jude 1:24-25

From: Aunt Paige