Tuesday, July 22, 2014

To: Cleaning out my Closet & Teenagers Today

I recently cleaned out the closet in our guest bedroom.  And, believe me, it was easier said than done.  Somewhere in the past three years, this humble block of space had become the home for all things that don’t “have a place”.   You know what I’m talking about – not sure where something really belongs? – let’s throw it in that closet, and I’ll find a “real” place for it later.  Only, later never really comes and the closet begins to resemble something from that hoarding show… until you finally decide something has to be done.

Anyway, as I began to organize the small space (aka: pull it all out of the closet and dump it on the guest room floor and bed) I quickly realized everything fit into one of three categories:

1.     Stuff I Forgot We Owned But Nice to Have:  extra hangers, photos from my daughter’s early days, stationery, sharpies galore, high school scrapbooks for me and Daniel (because who wouldn’t want to see those glory days?!), and some Texas Rangers cups (from the years they were actually winning games and going to the World Series).
2.     Stuff I Knew We Owned But Don’t Use Often:  my maternity clothes, shower supplies (I’ve got enough linen, mason jars, & lace ribbon to knock the “shabby chic” look out of the park) Daniel’s suits, gift wrap stuff (no matter how much of it I own, I still never seem to have the appropriate sized/themed bag I’m looking for), craft supplies (I think I used to be “crafty” and utilize all of these cool paints, papers, and pens), & books (from my pre-Kindle days, obviously).
3.     Stuff I Forgot We Owned And Need to Find a New Home For:  picture frames I used in college (with the pictures still in them – reminding me that I haven’t always had dark circles under my eyes), the old car radio Daniel replaced in his truck last year (really??), and a box of notes and cards from my high school and college years.

That’s right - a box of notes and cards from my high school and college years.  I didn’t even know this box existed, and it was only a matter of time before my productive day of organizing the closet turned into a trip down memory lane. 

I found old pictures, funny notes from friends, inspirational quotes from camps I had been involved with, and even letters from old boyfriends.  That’s right.  In this unmarked box of my past, I found letters I had kept from old boyfriends.  Don’t ask me why - - I didn’t even know they existed.  However, I would be lying if I said I didn’t read them, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say they had me laughing hysterically – the immaturity of my past relationships glared at me in the face as I read each card and letter.  Some were too corny or cheesy to even finish.  It seemed like light years ago when I had received these, and I couldn’t believe they had stayed in my possession all of this time.  I read through them all, laughed a bit, rolled my eyes a few times then threw them all in the trash.  I mean, seriously – as comical as they may have been, there’s really no other place for them except the local landfill. 

As I began to toss each into the trash pile, I started thinking about teenagers today.  There won’t come a day when they peruse their old high school memorabilia and find written notes.  No, they would probably scoff at such an ancient method of communication, but what are they going to do one day?  Pull down their electronic “cloud” from the sky and empty it of everything they’ve ever sent or received?  Is that even possible?  Does anyone even know what the “cloud” really is?  Will they spend hours deleting every text message conversation ever had?  And, even if they do all of that – will there digital conversations ever really be erased from social media history? 

Talk about a different time, huh?  I used to pass notes in between classes and pray a teacher wouldn’t catch me as we read it during my next class.  I’d sign notes to my friends with the beloved acronym of “LYLAS” and doodle the border of the notebook paper like my life depended on it.  Then, if I had something to say to my friend that didn’t make it onto a note for that day, I’d have to WAIT until we were both home (and finished with dinner, of course) before I could call them on their land line (gasp).  Or, if you could stay up late enough to get the green light from your parents to use the phone line for Internet, and you had the patience for a shaky dial-up connection, you could chat with them on AOL Instant Messenger.  (Shout out to my old screen name of DMSsport30, where I paid tribute to not only my middle school, but also my volleyball and basketball number…for some things, there are no words.)

Your average teenage issues - relationships, friends, peer pressure, gossip, and rumors - carry such a larger weight today than they ever have before because now they NEVER SHUT DOWN.  Fifteen years ago, if someone broke up with you, you’d call your friends to talk (cry) about it, maybe tell your mom, and slowly hear the news spread around the school the next day.  It still, unnecessarily so, became everyone’s business, but its only means of travel was word of mouth.  Now, it’s possible that if your boyfriend breaks up with you, you’re the last one to find out about it.  And, that’s a piece of humble pie no one should ever have to taste.

You hear it all over the place: this generation is too “self centered”, they “don’t know how to have a meaningful conversation”, they don’t know how to “detach from their social devices”, and so on… Sure, some of these accusations may be true, but I know several adults who could be categorized under those stereotypes, as well.  I think we need to stop attacking this generation for their constant dependence on social media and start recognizing the challenges it causes them:  

Not many of us can say our middle school boyfriend broke up with us via a Facebook wall post or tweet. 

It’s not just the fashion magazines in the check out line with pages of beautiful women that can allow insecurity to start creeping in – confidence is tested with every pop up ad, retweet, Instagram post, or snapchat message.

Keeping up with the Joneses isn’t just about getting a fancy car when you turn 16 or those pair of jeans you want – now, it’s about who looks to be having the most fun on their status update or racking in the most likes on a recent post.

Maybe “kids today” don’t know how to spell correctly, use proper grammar, or have legible handwriting, but they have a whole slew of battles to fight that us older folks would crumble against.  So, instead of criticizing, let’s start encouraging… instead of feeling sorry for, let’s start praying for...  instead of griping about, let’s learn about…

Because at the end of the day, they’re still just kids.  They deserve to be twelve, fifteen, eighteen, etc…  They deserve to make mistakes and learn from them.  They deserve our support and interest.  They’re the next generation.  The hope for a better tomorrow. The teachers to my kids.  The future.   

And, if you don’t believe it, just see what they do when….

They’re given the opportunity to serve:  they give and love unconditionally. 


They’re told to have fun:  they unashamedly learn how to country dance.


They’re given freedom to be themselves:  they’re at their happiest. 


Because whether they talk to their friends in person, through a note, or on text message, teenagers today are the same as they were ten, twenty, thirty, even fifty years ago: young, impressionable and passionate people seeking out truth in this ever-evolving, complicated and beautiful world.

Therefore, my prayer is that I’m always pointing them to the Truth…even if it is through a text message.  :)


From: Paige 

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