Call it what you want - - the middle ground; the perfect
balance; healthy boundaries; a little of this and a little of that; a delicate
combination. It seems these expressions
are tossed out in conversations as the ultimate resolution – about tons of
different subjects - with minimal directions attached… as if the very words
hold the answer. You can have a mountain
of insecurities, questions, or thoughts, and once one of these sayings gets
dropped, game over. Conversation
done. Wait, what?
Am I missing something here?
Disciplining children. Well, you want them to know their boundaries,
respect you as authority, but not stifle their personalities or break their
spirit. There’s a delicate balance in parenting. Okay, well, what does that actually look like?
Working. Make sure you’re doing something with
purpose, give your all, go above and beyond, but don’t neglect your family or
lose sight of your priorities. You have
to find the healthy combination. Hmm…so, is that like 50 hours a week?
Relationships. Be a listener, be dependable, love your
neighbor as yourself but don’t let others take advantage of you or treat you as
a doormat. Don’t be afraid to set
boundaries. Okay, so, as long as you don’t expect too much from me, you can be my
friend…
Money. Be responsible in your saving, start setting
aside for retirement now, make a budget, use the cash system but understand it
all belongs to the Lord, and you should be willing to give it away freely. There’s a middle ground in how hard you work
for money without holding onto it too tightly. I don’t even know here…
Parenting. These little people are your
responsibilities, raise them right, they’re your first priority but don’t let
them dictate your schedule or rule the house.
It’s a little blend of love and discipline. Sorry,
little one, I’m in charge here, and I don’t really feel like making breakfast
today, so…
I could go on and on here with examples. Where’s the answer? Where’s this sacred Middle Ground everyone
speaks of? Sometimes I feel like it’s a unicorn
that’s hiding at the end of the rainbow, that only a few lucky souls ever find.
Well, folks, I hate to break it to you, but I’ve searched high and low and
discovered: it doesn’t really exist.
That’s right. I’m
calling the bluff. I’m peeling back the
curtain. I’m letting the cat out of the
bag. These haphazard phrases that get
tossed into conversations as acceptable, logical, and helpful should come with
a warning sign, for with it comes several strings attached.
You see, this Middle Ground is actually different for every
person. We are a human race made up of
millions of different personality types, billions of strengths and weaknesses,
an infinite number of schedules, demands, family dynamics, and endless amounts
of experiences and goals. Everybody’s
Middle Ground is different. “A little of
this” for me may be “a lot of that” for you…
So, again, we’re going in circles.
We’re skirting around the answer.
We’re lost in the shades of gray we create for ourselves.
So, the question isn’t about a Middle Ground, it’s about where
you’re going, because while the Middle Ground sounds like a great answer, it
sounds like somewhere you can get stuck.
We want to find Middle Ground, but we won’t want to stay there forever
because life around us is always changing, evolving… The Middle Ground I come
to as I parent my toddler through tempter tantrums today probably won’t be the
same one I tread when she’s a teenager wanting to car date, right? Stakes will change, circumstances will vary –
so where does that leave us? Again, you
have to ask yourself, what’s the destination?
Where am I going? What’s my main
goal here?
And, if you don’t know that,
my friend, no “balance” in your life will ever make sense. No boundaries you set will ever feel helpful. Shalom will be impossible to experience when
nothing in your grasp is stable or consistent.
So, when we feel like we’re at that place where this sacred
Middle Ground is the missing ingredient to an otherwise peaceful existence, we
need to look no further than the ultimate human being. The One who lived a perfect life for thirty
four years, then died so that we could freely emulate him. He came to be an example. He came to show us how to hold tight to
something that doesn’t waver. He taught
us how to lean into Him when areas of our life run us ragged.
God in the Flesh. The
Word Incarnate. Emmanuel. God with Us.
Jesus. He didn’t come to just
hang out and spread cheer or offer some helpful phrases to be painted on the
canvas in your living room. He came to
relate. To empathize. To bear the cross. To run the race. To walk the walk and talk the talk.
He didn’t come to Earth so that we would wander aimlessly in
search of some ambiguous advice that we hope works, he came to show us how to
live. We don’t need to search for this
Middle Ground, we need to find Jesus.
You’ve read every parenting book, talked to your friends
with older kids, but have you prayed specifically about your child? Maybe you don’t need to combine the current parenting
techniques, maybe you need to understand and confess the children you’re
raising really aren’t yours – they belong to God. They were created in His image, not
yours.
You have a friend that constantly needs advice or is in a
bad mood. You feel drained. Do you set boundaries because she brings you
down or are you just annoyed by her? Did Christ feel put out by those who
needed a Savior? Would he roll his eyes
when someone brought up the same thing again and again? No, his source of love flowed from his Father,
so he didn’t run dry on grace or understanding.
Do you need to set boundaries for that friend or do you need to love
others with a love that doesn’t depend on your mood, circumstances, or
feelings?
Your kids are growing fast, but you spend all your extra
time at the office. What’s the harm in
that – you’re supporting their lifestyle, their future? You want to give them opportunities you never
had, but do they know you? Even God knew
that relationship would be the most influential in making an impact, so he left
his “office” to spend time with his kids.
So, while I don’t think the Middle Ground actually exists, I
do think it should be a trigger for us.
When we find ourselves in search of this Middle Ground, let’s not search
for a formula that fits our schedule, our wants, or our budget, let’s ask
ourselves, Where is Christ in this? Because,
unlike the other variables in our life, He will not change.
Have we reflected on His words, His ministry, or His life as
we do this soul searching? If not, we’re minimizing his sacrifice and dwarfing
his influence;
we’re taking for granted one of the most miraculous events
in all of history and forgetting that He. Was. Here.
He ate, slept, bathed, spoke, walked – He was human. Just like us.
So, don’t fret over the Middle Ground, don’t lose sleep as it seems to
be some hypothetical place you can’t reach, instead search for Him, for He
always was, always will be, and always is Right There.
He was human, just like us, so that we could be Just Like
Him. And, that, my friends, will always
offer more solid footing than any Middle Ground.
From: Paige
